In November, my friend’s brother Sean passed away. Sean was a young man, and his death was tragic.
Time has passed, and Sean’s family and friends are grieving and moving on in their own ways. However, Facebook carries on indifferently, churning through its algorithms, spitting out reminders to let me know I haven’t been in touch with Sean in a while or to tell me that it’s his birthday. At first, these notices were jarring and felt almost callous on the part of Facebook. I know that probably sounds irrational.
Recently my feelings about Sean’s Facebook page have changed. It’s heartening to see Sean’s friends stopping by to post a note, saying the same things they might say standing by his grave with the same faith that their words will find their way to Sean. We are all reminded how much he touched our lives and how much he is missed. Photos of great memories are only a click away. The page has become a sort of memorial to Sean’s life. Notes are like flowers left on a tombstone. We see them and know we are not alone in our grief.
In the end, technology doesn’t change us. It just gives us new avenues to express our natures. Perhaps we congregate at Facebook and other social networks, not to connect but to feel connected.